So, let it be known. We love much about it here. We have many blessings here. And we've counted them. We've needed to count them to make it. Maybe I should just tell you a little secret. This moving stuff is hard. Meeting new people is fun. New places...fun. But plain and simple. I think this moving stuff is getting out of my blood. Its awesome. Its hard. Change is awesome. Its hard. Change is exciting. Its hard.
This week has been much better, last week was really hard. I cried a lot. I talked to my sisters and mom A LOT. It can be lonely. If you know my Jake...he and change...they're like water and oil. Just don't mix well. Which means I've felt a huge burden on my shoulders, and I've felt like I was carrying it alone.
But this week, thanks to some very helpful tips from my sisters, and the talk I was asked to give last Sunday in church, my attitude and approach are getting better. (Yeah, our records aren't even here yet...but I have a new calling and we spoke in Sacrament Meeting. Yeah! To be honest, though, I actually enjoyed speaking.)
But all this change in my life has exposed me to my vunerabilities/weaknesses and makes me realize what they are and how to improve on them....not really that fun but productive, I guess.
My topic for church was 3 Nephi 11:29 "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." Isn't it ironic, don't ya think? A little too ironic. The one major battle I'm having inside my head has to do with contention. Basically, I leaerned and tried to teach, that we have control over our anger. No one can make us angry or frustrated. We have much more control over it, and agency to do so. Sooo....
Now that I have my brain all wrapped around this doctrine and concept that I could NOT live the whole week I was trying to prepare to teach about it, my sisters came to my aid this week and taught me some ways to apply it.
It would be way too wordy to post here. But, much better week.
Today after grocery shopping for two hours with the boys-don't ask me why 2 hours, who knows-I got to the check out and with dread look at the full cart and did not want to do one more thing. But mentally, I decided to get over it and forge ahead. Before I knew it, the twins unloaded nearly ALL my groceries at the check out. When they were almost done, I just smiled at them and got almost teary eyed. I told them I was soo proud of them and how hard working they were. I was so grateful for their little 4 year old help!
But one of the fun things about moving is you find out the store doesn't take anything but Discover Card or checks. So I write out a check. Receipt in hand, groceries in cart, boys at candy machines, ready to go. Cashier just needs to verify with Supervisor that he got everything from me, like change of address, DL#. She tells him she can't take my check.... its out of state. I told her I've shopped here 3 times already. She calls her manager. Answer: No go.
I haven't always been so bold...passive was more my likely approach. "Ma'm..." (thanks Texas) "Could I please speak to your manager?"
The store manager looked 25 ish. The 40 ish big dude in line was rambling, that "bank on her check is the strongest bank in the nation right now. They buy up all the other banks who can't make it. In fact they hold most the mortgages in all of Avon Lake. He kept on going. Thanks big dude in line!
I said..."Ma'm, I've shopped here three times before with no problems using my check, if I use the atm over there, I'll get $7 in bank charges, I've been all over this country with this as my bank and never had any problems with my checks. I've been shopping for two hours with two little boys and I don't want to do this all over again. I just moved here, will you please help me out, till I get new checks?"
Lo and behold I got out of there...with my groceries.
It wasn't a biggie, we've had other problems since we've been here. We're kind of used to hang ups. The landlord has been here at least 2-3 times a week taking care of things. The water heater leaked all over the laundry room. That was replaced last weekend. Thankfully, Uncle Bob...the boys name for the landlord, is installing an outlet in the family bathroom for me. Now I can do my hair and Jake can shave. :)
The movers broke our fridge. Insurance adjusters come Monday. We'll see what they'll do. I bought a carpet remnant and pad to lay out in the basement so we'll use it more (when I say we I mean the my boys and the neighbor friends.) On my way home I called my new friend Meta (like Beta the fish but with an M) and she came right over and we carried it in a layed it out all by ourselves. Then the leftover pad we were able to put in my bedroom under our rug...so much better.
I still need to find an internet provider...don't ask me why this seems complicated for me, but it is...
The boys were soooooo excited when I took them to a park after school this week that every prayer that night they thanked Heavenly Father that they could go to the park today. (Maybe I need to get them out more.)
I miss and appreciate people from my past daily. I think of you often. Randomly I'll do something or experience something and I think of good friends in ways I never appreciated them before. My heart has been full of gratitude for good friends. I wouldn't trade you for the world. How good it was to be close to someone and just know what ya know about them and you just pick up where you want when you get together.
In someways the emotions of moving can be like going through a break up and starting all over again.
In someways RENTING is like being in a summer fling at Philmont (I worked there for a summer). You know the relationship isn't going to turn out, nothing you'd even make long term but you'll enjoy it while it lasts, have a lot of fun, all the while knowing this isn't where you plan on putting your heart, yet knowing thats really what your heart longs for someday with someone else, even if it isn't right now. Now settling down in one place, buying a home thats like a MARRIAGE...committment, its yours and its peaceful to just relax and not ponder when will this end. (I know you can say, marriage has its trials, and I would agree... (: )
But, just so you can know, the last post, that was the "Pollyanna" version. This is the rest of the story. Not horrible I know, just real, I hope.
We'll be blooming where we're planted for now.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
We're Here-Cleveland, OHIO!
Crazy crazy craziness has been our lives for about 2 months and it finally feels like the stormy sea's are calming. Finally.
But we're here. In Ohio.
I think it would be easiest to make a list of my favorite things here....its a long one. :)
This house...59 years old and all. Perfect for us..for now.
The trees on our street and in our yard-though raking might be a task.
My sun room off the dining room-cozy and cabin-esque. Perfect place for late night chats with moms, sisters and best friends-even if its over the phone. (thanks Lee'sa for the futon-thats where it is.)
Neighbors; they brought us cookies. And have two boys...yea!
The yard is big. No fence. No one else has one either. Love it. I don't feel couped up.
We have a basement. Plenty of light and storage! yea!
Our town is quaint. Very cozy and New Englandish if you ask me (never been there)
However quaint it is...theres a COSTCO AND TARGET AND OLD NAVY and plenty other things just a mile away! Outside of the quaintness. Not disturbing it.
Football games. We must be close to the high school because teenagers all walked past our house to the game. Announcers, bands, cheering and even a fireworks show at the end, all happened tonight. I like it!
Landlords...they're cute and ever so helpful. Bob and Mary first met in this house, and they're about the cutest couple ever...and she's so funny and delightful and such a fine lady. And he's about as handy as ever and retired.
The church. They've taken good care of us. Been fed two meals already and women-mostly young moms have called to check on us. More than a few times Jake has called and I cut him off with "I love our church." or "I'm so grateful for this church." or "I couldn't imagine doing what we do without the members of our church."
I know this church and religion are the most important thing to me. I can't imagine my life without its support. And with each move I appreciate it on a whole new level. I like the reminder.
The Post Office. Its sooo close. Our city post office in Texas was 30 minutes away.
Now, maybe one minute-depending on if you wait for a car when backing out of the driveway.
Produce...oh how I've missed you! Fresh peaches, tomatoes and corn. All at a roadside stand. Locally grown. Glad to have you back in my life.
Public School. I've only spent 5 minutes with her and I LOVE, Love her already. And I needed something to give. Three boys with no friends yet....makin' me a bit CRAZY!
Open windows. Need I say more.
Airport...oh so close. And no tolls to get there. :)
Only one full bath to clean. You can consider it however you want. (I maybe should mention however...no outlets in the bathroom. This should be fun!)
My living room feels good. We can have Family Home Evening night with the piano in the same room. Maybe we'll actually do it more often.
The Puerto Rican neighbor I met at the bus stop who invited me and the kids in to say hi, and to meet her pastor husband and their three cutie patootie kids. They remind me of Jake's brother and sister in law Steve and Charmenia!
Did I mention the basement. If I don't want to deal with it...down it goes.
oh, oh, oh....Huntington Beach! Its on Lake Erie...you know, one of the Great Lakes you had to memorize in grade school. Its fresh water but it feels like you're on the ocean. I'll post pictures when I get a sec! Just minutes away and the boys loved building in the sand. My mom even got in and swam with us!
Which reminds me...we can ride our bikes down to a little old fashioned ice cream parlor around the corner a ways.
All the church historical significance here in Ohio. Never occurred to me before.
A quilting store at the end of my street. Maybe I'll take a class and learn to sew after all. (My mothers' dream...)
Oh, and how can I forget, the skunk we saw on our street our first night here. And the red fox that crossed through traffic leaving our neighborhood the next morning.
Lovelies-you can't forget those.
I have four master closets...they're old...if you know what I mean. But I love them-and one is cedar lined.
My small kitchen...its so easy to keep clean, but somehow far more functional than our last one. (Easy to get way messy though, too.)
The neighborhood makes me feel like going for a run.
There's a little church just a little ways down the road. And another steeple I can see from my kitchen window.
Church bells ring in the morning.
So many people exercise up and down our street.
Long drive way for bike riding.
Jake taught Josh how to ride his bike at said church parking lot tonight! He's a natural, too!
All in all I have many things to feel at peace and have gratitude about here. I know the Lord blessed us in finding our home. I feel it as one of His tender mercies. I did not want to move. It took me 5 months to mentally accept this change. He has taken care of us here. In every way, I know God led us here. Even down to...we leaped in faith into this house never looking at this town, and seeing the house in the dark at 9:30 at night before flying back to Texas the next day. We did not know of any of what we were getting into. We had no other options. Doors kept getting "shut" in our face. We'd find a house; decide to go with it and it would already be under contract..within hours. We begged and pleaded one lady to let us contract with her on hers over someone else. Nope. And it was sooo small. Crazy to beg for house you'd never want to live in all because you can't find ANYTHING! The Realtor dropped us off at the hotel by Friday night-6 p.m. with nothing. No home. Not even a worst possible choice-except for the mildew infested one.
The story itself; finding this house is a miracle, literally. Maybe I'll get to blogging about. Huge trial of faith.
So, all in all, have faith. If you need mountains to be moved in your life. Have faith. He moves them. But a mountain's a lot to move so it can take quite a long time. So in this moment, patience has been the key to enduring all that we've been through in the last 6 months.
Gratitude is how we choose to enjoy it now.
At dinner on Sunday a new friend said all the black ladies she takes care of as a nurse, respond with "I'm Blessed" when she asks them how they're doing. Forget the "I"m fine, how are you." its, "I'm blessed...the Lords been good to me."
I think I like these ladies already.
We all struggle and all have trials. We all are trying to conquer something. But for now if you ask how I'm doing...."I'm Blessed."
But we're here. In Ohio.
I think it would be easiest to make a list of my favorite things here....its a long one. :)
This house...59 years old and all. Perfect for us..for now.
The trees on our street and in our yard-though raking might be a task.
My sun room off the dining room-cozy and cabin-esque. Perfect place for late night chats with moms, sisters and best friends-even if its over the phone. (thanks Lee'sa for the futon-thats where it is.)
Neighbors; they brought us cookies. And have two boys...yea!
The yard is big. No fence. No one else has one either. Love it. I don't feel couped up.
We have a basement. Plenty of light and storage! yea!
Our town is quaint. Very cozy and New Englandish if you ask me (never been there)
However quaint it is...theres a COSTCO AND TARGET AND OLD NAVY and plenty other things just a mile away! Outside of the quaintness. Not disturbing it.
Football games. We must be close to the high school because teenagers all walked past our house to the game. Announcers, bands, cheering and even a fireworks show at the end, all happened tonight. I like it!
Landlords...they're cute and ever so helpful. Bob and Mary first met in this house, and they're about the cutest couple ever...and she's so funny and delightful and such a fine lady. And he's about as handy as ever and retired.
The church. They've taken good care of us. Been fed two meals already and women-mostly young moms have called to check on us. More than a few times Jake has called and I cut him off with "I love our church." or "I'm so grateful for this church." or "I couldn't imagine doing what we do without the members of our church."
I know this church and religion are the most important thing to me. I can't imagine my life without its support. And with each move I appreciate it on a whole new level. I like the reminder.
The Post Office. Its sooo close. Our city post office in Texas was 30 minutes away.
Now, maybe one minute-depending on if you wait for a car when backing out of the driveway.
Produce...oh how I've missed you! Fresh peaches, tomatoes and corn. All at a roadside stand. Locally grown. Glad to have you back in my life.
Public School. I've only spent 5 minutes with her and I LOVE, Love her already. And I needed something to give. Three boys with no friends yet....makin' me a bit CRAZY!
Open windows. Need I say more.
Airport...oh so close. And no tolls to get there. :)
Only one full bath to clean. You can consider it however you want. (I maybe should mention however...no outlets in the bathroom. This should be fun!)
My living room feels good. We can have Family Home Evening night with the piano in the same room. Maybe we'll actually do it more often.
The Puerto Rican neighbor I met at the bus stop who invited me and the kids in to say hi, and to meet her pastor husband and their three cutie patootie kids. They remind me of Jake's brother and sister in law Steve and Charmenia!
Did I mention the basement. If I don't want to deal with it...down it goes.
oh, oh, oh....Huntington Beach! Its on Lake Erie...you know, one of the Great Lakes you had to memorize in grade school. Its fresh water but it feels like you're on the ocean. I'll post pictures when I get a sec! Just minutes away and the boys loved building in the sand. My mom even got in and swam with us!
Which reminds me...we can ride our bikes down to a little old fashioned ice cream parlor around the corner a ways.
All the church historical significance here in Ohio. Never occurred to me before.
A quilting store at the end of my street. Maybe I'll take a class and learn to sew after all. (My mothers' dream...)
Oh, and how can I forget, the skunk we saw on our street our first night here. And the red fox that crossed through traffic leaving our neighborhood the next morning.
Lovelies-you can't forget those.
I have four master closets...they're old...if you know what I mean. But I love them-and one is cedar lined.
My small kitchen...its so easy to keep clean, but somehow far more functional than our last one. (Easy to get way messy though, too.)
The neighborhood makes me feel like going for a run.
There's a little church just a little ways down the road. And another steeple I can see from my kitchen window.
Church bells ring in the morning.
So many people exercise up and down our street.
Long drive way for bike riding.
Jake taught Josh how to ride his bike at said church parking lot tonight! He's a natural, too!
All in all I have many things to feel at peace and have gratitude about here. I know the Lord blessed us in finding our home. I feel it as one of His tender mercies. I did not want to move. It took me 5 months to mentally accept this change. He has taken care of us here. In every way, I know God led us here. Even down to...we leaped in faith into this house never looking at this town, and seeing the house in the dark at 9:30 at night before flying back to Texas the next day. We did not know of any of what we were getting into. We had no other options. Doors kept getting "shut" in our face. We'd find a house; decide to go with it and it would already be under contract..within hours. We begged and pleaded one lady to let us contract with her on hers over someone else. Nope. And it was sooo small. Crazy to beg for house you'd never want to live in all because you can't find ANYTHING! The Realtor dropped us off at the hotel by Friday night-6 p.m. with nothing. No home. Not even a worst possible choice-except for the mildew infested one.
The story itself; finding this house is a miracle, literally. Maybe I'll get to blogging about. Huge trial of faith.
So, all in all, have faith. If you need mountains to be moved in your life. Have faith. He moves them. But a mountain's a lot to move so it can take quite a long time. So in this moment, patience has been the key to enduring all that we've been through in the last 6 months.
Gratitude is how we choose to enjoy it now.
At dinner on Sunday a new friend said all the black ladies she takes care of as a nurse, respond with "I'm Blessed" when she asks them how they're doing. Forget the "I"m fine, how are you." its, "I'm blessed...the Lords been good to me."
I think I like these ladies already.
We all struggle and all have trials. We all are trying to conquer something. But for now if you ask how I'm doing...."I'm Blessed."
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Right Now...I Should Be
Right now... I should be packing suitcases. Right now, I should be cleaning toilets.
Right now I'm contemplating big changes in our lives. They're so big I haven't comprehended them. I'm struggling to grasp that our life as we know it will be dramatically different in 4 days. sigh.
See these cute boys!
These boys and their momma's are one of the big reasons I am so sad to leave.
Right now I'm contemplating big changes in our lives. They're so big I haven't comprehended them. I'm struggling to grasp that our life as we know it will be dramatically different in 4 days. sigh.
See these cute boys!
These boys and their momma's are one of the big reasons I am so sad to leave.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Josh-isms....
This little guy can be soo sweet. Lately he's been saying this a lot. "Like you Mommy, mmmm." Then he reaches his little arms around my neck to squeeze and puckers up and lands one on my cheek.
Now this boy has got it all figured out!
Another funny one, this morning Josh climbed up my shelf to get my weights down. He said..."Hey Mom, I got your muscles down for you."
Now this boy has got it all figured out!
Another funny one, this morning Josh climbed up my shelf to get my weights down. He said..."Hey Mom, I got your muscles down for you."
MIRACLES AND AMAZING GRACE
Whats this a picture of? Are you in disbelief? Can this be real? SNOW has Arrived! Miracle of miracles...my boys could hardly stand it!
Last week I told Jabren that we might get snow on Friday. His eyes shot straight to mine, wide and questioning with an expression that spoke "Are you serious...don't you joke around about something like that, Mom. This is serious. But are you serious? Do you really mean it?"
He looked like he could have cried. He longs for the snow.
He was at home sick on Friday, but I couldn't resist letting them play in the MIRACLE!
My friend Mary called at 7:45 a.m. to let me know it was coming down...in case we didn't know. It started to really come down around 11 am and we stared out the front window anticipating it sticking to the ground. The boys squealed with delight when they saw their best friend Clays' Dads truck slow down in front. They all waived in delight of the beautiful white stuff! (Clays school closed for the day.)
All this while the boys had put in a CD with AMAZING GRACE blasting on my new CD player. It was a powerful moment! My heart could have burst and I so wanted to tell somebody...then my sister in law Wendy called and so I screamed in her ear and laughed and she was patient with our fanatics!
I feel like the Lord answered three little boys prayers and mine.
Funny thing is, Josh and Jamesen went to get their swimming suits and flip flops! (I guess they forgot how this snow thing works...)
Not to mention they were hysterical and in tears when they came in. They didn't think frozen fingers were all that cool and their mom hasn't bought any snow gear in quite some time so we were a little unprepared...but a GREAT DAY!
Last week I told Jabren that we might get snow on Friday. His eyes shot straight to mine, wide and questioning with an expression that spoke "Are you serious...don't you joke around about something like that, Mom. This is serious. But are you serious? Do you really mean it?"
He looked like he could have cried. He longs for the snow.
He was at home sick on Friday, but I couldn't resist letting them play in the MIRACLE!
My friend Mary called at 7:45 a.m. to let me know it was coming down...in case we didn't know. It started to really come down around 11 am and we stared out the front window anticipating it sticking to the ground. The boys squealed with delight when they saw their best friend Clays' Dads truck slow down in front. They all waived in delight of the beautiful white stuff! (Clays school closed for the day.)
All this while the boys had put in a CD with AMAZING GRACE blasting on my new CD player. It was a powerful moment! My heart could have burst and I so wanted to tell somebody...then my sister in law Wendy called and so I screamed in her ear and laughed and she was patient with our fanatics!
I feel like the Lord answered three little boys prayers and mine.
Funny thing is, Josh and Jamesen went to get their swimming suits and flip flops! (I guess they forgot how this snow thing works...)
Not to mention they were hysterical and in tears when they came in. They didn't think frozen fingers were all that cool and their mom hasn't bought any snow gear in quite some time so we were a little unprepared...but a GREAT DAY!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thanksgiving Traditions!
We had a great Thanksgiving this year. But no pictures to show for it. But the ones I do post are since then and portray the "picture".
So we invited our good friends Tiffany and Ernie for Thanksgiving. I've always imagined my future, knowing I'd be away from home as a married adult and having the full weight of holidays on me. So in stride I excitedly made lottsa pies!
At FHE a few weeks before Jake randomly asked everyone for their pie requests for the big day. Jabren-Lemon, Jake-Banana Cream and Chocolate Cream and Josh-pumpkin, and Jamesen-can't remember but the day of it was all about Cherry pie.
We woke up and sent Jake off to play at the "Turkey Bowl" with guys from church. Then we met up with him to watch. The boys played with sidewalk chalk while I visited with a few friends and watched our husbands pretend they were 18 again. (And since they're not some homes were permeated with the smell of Bengay instead of roasted turkey...)
But the biggest happiness of my day is that on this Thanksgiving Day one of my dreams came true. A dream I've had since I was married and wanted to have children.
My dream was that I wanted to teach my children how to love cooking and being in the kitchen helping with the food preparation. My theory was that so much of family get togethers involves food and the preparation of it, and I wanted that to be a fun, interactive quality time - part of the experience.
And there was a momemt (lasted about 5 minutes) about an hour or so before the Kamp's arrived that we were all in the kitchen stirring/slicing, blending, pouring something. All my boys were helping me make dinner. All of them. And each honestly contributing to the efforts. When the thought crossed my mind that this is what I've always wanted...I stood still and looked around at everyone-who were unaware of my realization-and I soaked it all in. Memorized the moment.
Now this may seem like such a nice dreamy, wonderful picture, I know. And it is; I am so grateful for this arrival. Because let me tell you something...this is an arrival. This desire has put me through the ringer time and time again. I have literally paid serious prices to reach this goal. "How so?" you might ask. Let me refer you to an older post...can't get the link thingy to work so if you're interested www.thompsonfamilylovingitall.blogspot.com/2008/04/busy-busy-boys.html
These are decent pretty pictures, but with an imagination you could probably conjure images that I didn't take pictures of of 3 boys under 4 thinking they can cook and be independent and do what they want and creating DISASTERS in my kitchen, instead of it being a "KIDS OFF LIMITS" Zone. Which, if, when I started working towards this with Jabren, I had known twins would follow and what that would entail I would have shrugged the whole idea off. Probably would have if I could have imagined the stress and havoc of it all. But I couldn't and I didn't so I got to enjoy Thanksgiving Day with all of us whipping up beautiful things like Chocolate and Banana Cream pies, and making Grandma's fresh cranberry relish and Jake prepping the Turkey platter....DELISH - all of this Day!
So we invited our good friends Tiffany and Ernie for Thanksgiving. I've always imagined my future, knowing I'd be away from home as a married adult and having the full weight of holidays on me. So in stride I excitedly made lottsa pies!
At FHE a few weeks before Jake randomly asked everyone for their pie requests for the big day. Jabren-Lemon, Jake-Banana Cream and Chocolate Cream and Josh-pumpkin, and Jamesen-can't remember but the day of it was all about Cherry pie.
We woke up and sent Jake off to play at the "Turkey Bowl" with guys from church. Then we met up with him to watch. The boys played with sidewalk chalk while I visited with a few friends and watched our husbands pretend they were 18 again. (And since they're not some homes were permeated with the smell of Bengay instead of roasted turkey...)
But the biggest happiness of my day is that on this Thanksgiving Day one of my dreams came true. A dream I've had since I was married and wanted to have children.
My dream was that I wanted to teach my children how to love cooking and being in the kitchen helping with the food preparation. My theory was that so much of family get togethers involves food and the preparation of it, and I wanted that to be a fun, interactive quality time - part of the experience.
And there was a momemt (lasted about 5 minutes) about an hour or so before the Kamp's arrived that we were all in the kitchen stirring/slicing, blending, pouring something. All my boys were helping me make dinner. All of them. And each honestly contributing to the efforts. When the thought crossed my mind that this is what I've always wanted...I stood still and looked around at everyone-who were unaware of my realization-and I soaked it all in. Memorized the moment.
Now this may seem like such a nice dreamy, wonderful picture, I know. And it is; I am so grateful for this arrival. Because let me tell you something...this is an arrival. This desire has put me through the ringer time and time again. I have literally paid serious prices to reach this goal. "How so?" you might ask. Let me refer you to an older post...can't get the link thingy to work so if you're interested www.thompsonfamilylovingitall.blogspot.com/2008/04/busy-busy-boys.html
These are decent pretty pictures, but with an imagination you could probably conjure images that I didn't take pictures of of 3 boys under 4 thinking they can cook and be independent and do what they want and creating DISASTERS in my kitchen, instead of it being a "KIDS OFF LIMITS" Zone. Which, if, when I started working towards this with Jabren, I had known twins would follow and what that would entail I would have shrugged the whole idea off. Probably would have if I could have imagined the stress and havoc of it all. But I couldn't and I didn't so I got to enjoy Thanksgiving Day with all of us whipping up beautiful things like Chocolate and Banana Cream pies, and making Grandma's fresh cranberry relish and Jake prepping the Turkey platter....DELISH - all of this Day!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Egg Roll Pictures
Earlier I posted a recipe for yummy Egg Rolls from Better Homes and Garden Cookbook that I've made a few times. Here's a picture of these yummy treats that I am so excited I learned how to make. Something about oil is intimidating but eh, I'm in the south right?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Most of the Time
Most of the time I am quite a happy person. I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. I know great truths because of the gospel that bring me a lot peace and joy and excitement.
I love opportunities especially if they involve new friends, old friends, and my family. I have a deep feeling of gratitude for all my blessings. I am completely content with much of my life.
I really do love life. I do.
But not today. Every once in a while. I do not love it all. Maybe I endure it all. I feel like I'm in that place in Dr. Suess' book. It all sounds great and sing songy and positive for those first few pages...."Oh the places you'll go." but I'm at the "except when you don't because sometimes you won't" place.
I'm in the "WAITING PLACE".
Lifes hard, sometimes very lonely, and exhausting and discouraging. I don't know how all this piled up into my whole one FRIDAY! But it did. Well, it really started yesterday, when my little sister left after a week with us. Gosh, I miss family. I feel like I had a little taste of chocolate and forgot how satisfying it is and my addiction is taking over...except I can't have anymore chocolate for quite some time. Now time for the withdrawal symptoms.
To make matters worse. I really can't find either of my phones. Further exponentiating my feeling alone and away from all that is dear to me. My family. I just want to sit in my parents livingroom and chat with my dad.
Or play their piano while kids run outside and dig deep holes in grandpa's garden. 
Or stay up later than is good for either of us, and talk deep talks with my mom.
Life just becomes very simple and stress free when I walk in the door at "home". Its peaceful and HOME. Missing it today. Need it today. Wish I could drive an hour and be there. Like it used to take. (Not the 29 hours that Mapquest claims it would take.)
So I'm existing in this moment until I have the courage to let it go and keep moving on with life.
I love opportunities especially if they involve new friends, old friends, and my family. I have a deep feeling of gratitude for all my blessings. I am completely content with much of my life.
I really do love life. I do.
But not today. Every once in a while. I do not love it all. Maybe I endure it all. I feel like I'm in that place in Dr. Suess' book. It all sounds great and sing songy and positive for those first few pages...."Oh the places you'll go." but I'm at the "except when you don't because sometimes you won't" place.
I'm in the "WAITING PLACE".
Lifes hard, sometimes very lonely, and exhausting and discouraging. I don't know how all this piled up into my whole one FRIDAY! But it did. Well, it really started yesterday, when my little sister left after a week with us. Gosh, I miss family. I feel like I had a little taste of chocolate and forgot how satisfying it is and my addiction is taking over...except I can't have anymore chocolate for quite some time. Now time for the withdrawal symptoms.
To make matters worse. I really can't find either of my phones. Further exponentiating my feeling alone and away from all that is dear to me. My family. I just want to sit in my parents livingroom and chat with my dad.
Or play their piano while kids run outside and dig deep holes in grandpa's garden. 
Or stay up later than is good for either of us, and talk deep talks with my mom.
Life just becomes very simple and stress free when I walk in the door at "home". Its peaceful and HOME. Missing it today. Need it today. Wish I could drive an hour and be there. Like it used to take. (Not the 29 hours that Mapquest claims it would take.)
So I'm existing in this moment until I have the courage to let it go and keep moving on with life.
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