I just read this title on a friends blog and wished I had this little saying in my head 5 hours ago.
Here's the deal: I'm dealing with buyers Remorse.
I have 3 boys, and summer is here. They all need new sandals and shoes. I don't want to spend much money to accomplish it. I never do. Well, Jabren saw the shoes he wanted and there was nothing else for him. I tried to convince him to try on others shoes.
Nope not an option. I've never been in this situation with him before. Or at least its been a really long time. He wanted these BADDDDD. I've always found a way to persuade him and get him out of this situation
Urggghhhh! I want him to have shoes just like all his friends at school and the neighbor kid-they all wear sketchers. But I also don't think I should spend $40 dollars on a pair of shoes for a five year old. Maybe I'm sounding cheap...anyways, he just wanted them so bad and we even went to Payless and their shoes looked so cheap.
If I had time and the patience of a child I would have searched for longer, but two stores had him spent and my time for looking was gone and I didn't want to spend forever to find something he didn't want anyways...But my child needs to learn the value of what he's wanting and that his wants need to be tempered. And a whole lot of other important $$$ lessons.
Urgghhh...but in the future I know have the words I needed tonight
YOU GET WHAT YOU GET AND YOU DON'T THROW A FIT!
How do you handle these situations with older kids...I've had it mastered with my younger kids...but somethings changed. And I'd love to hear your input.
10 comments:
When my brother wanted $100 shoes, my mom simply told him, "I have $25 for shoes for you, if you want something that costs more than that, you have to come up with the extra money yourself." He went out and earned the money. When he was ready, my mom gave him the $25 and he bought the $100 shoes. Granted my brother wasn't five, but the same lesson applies. Money is not unlimited. At five, he is old enough to understand a dollar limit. You can help him read the tags and determine if the object is in his price range. If he is still insistent, perhaps you can give him a chance to earn money by doing extra chores.
Oh, Debbie, I'm sorry. I have a rule...no clothes or shoes with characters. That's it. It's a little arbitrary, but I can't stand uber-tacky, and I figure if I'm paying for it, I can have a couple of ground rules. (I can see why a 5-year-old would die for those shoes, though. Flashing lights, police stuff...so awesome.) Did he end up with any shoes at all?
On the other hand, we DO want our kids to learn both that their wants need to be tempered AND that their desires can sometimes be fulfilled. It's a hard balance. I'm still trying to figure it out in my OWN life, let alone with my kids (my 12-year-olds desire for a cell phone?)
My kids have that saying memorized because I say it so much to them, it doesn't mean they live it though! Well...you know Annie...she'll only wear what she wants and not what I want even if it's the same thing every day. But I think I would've just gone home with nothing and let him stew about it for a couple days. I think kids sometimes chill or change their minds while thinking about it for a while. It may give you time to try and talk him in to something else as well. If you need to go out with hime alone sometime, bring your other boys over to me.
I agree with Lee'sa. I would just go home with nothing. I don't have too much of an issue, however, buying a pair of good shoes now because I know younger kids will use them. Payless shoes are good for one season then they are shot, sometimes paying a little extra for a higher quality that you can use for hand-me-downs might actually save you money in the long run.
I keep trying to comment and it is not letting me. So just in case it deletes my comment again, I'll keep this brief. I spend about $30-40 on tennis shoes for my girls and never regret it. They last through both of them and I can usually still donate them after that. Also, if you want to find a good deal on sandals (or sneakers) go to FamousFootwear.com. The prices don't seem that great, but right now they are having a BOGO 1/2 off and then if you use this code at checkout: 0409799 you will get an additional 20% and free shipping. I got my girls some really cute Nike sandals for really cheap that way!
Hi Debbie! I'm going to comment since I told you I read your blog! I always used to spend that much for my boys' tennis shoes. Those were the only shoes they wore (other than their church shoes), so I wanted to make sure they were good sturdy shoes that fit them well. I always went to Stride Rite. But even though the two at home are now 15 and 18, we still don't spend more than $40.00 to $50.00 on their shoes. No $100.00 shoes for my kids! Now they might wear a pair of flip flops sometimes, but they still mainly wear their tennis shoes. So different from my 26 year old daughter, who would buy a new pair of shoes every day if she had the money!
I love his shoes! The problem is, now all my boys saw his shoes yesterday at my house and they want them too! The flashing lights are really cool.
Dallin saw those same shoes and wanted them,but I am weird I guess, and hate the shoes with the flashing lights, so we talked him into other skechers. I have to agree with the comments. For my babies and until about 4 years, I buy payless shoes because they change sizes so quickly, but when they get a little older, they don't grow as fast and last longer. I learned this by going through many CHEAP payless shoes that fell apart and I ended up having to buy another pair of shoes. Another reason Tad and I agreed is because at Famous Footwear they had a buy one get the second one half off,so we also got sandals there at half off, which made them not so expensive. Sorry this is so long, but yes, my dad was in San Antonio the week before we were. My parents have called Mel and Lauren and have talked to them about the coincidence. My parents will be there again in June and my mom said she'd love to come down and visit you guys while my dad is in meeting. Hope all is well!!
Hey Debbie! This is Lindsay, I found your blog through Brooke's. I always meant to get your blog address and now I can see what you guys are up to even though we're moving. I'm sure going to miss having you as my visiting teacher, you have been such a great friend! We're actually in Illinois right now house hunting. But I'll be back on Friday so I'll probably see you in Church on Sunday.
You are such a good mom Debbie! We have all been there. At least it wasn't with a huge and major purchase. If it makes you feel any better, I buy the cheap shoes for little guys too, but once they go to school, I would end up buying a new pair half way through the winter with the cheap shoes. We actually found that Sketchers last all year long and still get handed down to little brother going strong. So worth it! I do try to get them on sale, but they are great shoes.
I have learned one trick with the method of "you get what you get". It works the best if I just go shopping by myself and bring it home...decision made. It also works well if I narrow it down to three acceptable pairs and prep them with the choice given before we ever leave the house. It is all about setting the parameters before the decision presents itself. Once they get their heart set on something, it is so much harder. I am like Kerri, my kids know that character shoes will "never" be an option. That is a parameter we set, and once you set a parameter, stick to it...and you are good to go.
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