Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts

Monday, June 8, 2009

Deep Thoughts...not really.

I feel very detached to this whole blogging thing. Sure I've posted here and there, but my typical self shares a whole lot more than just "egg-rolls". Because I haven't been sharing my DEEP THOUGHTS I feel disconnected in some way. But from whom am I detached? You, I suppose...aren't you the one reading this.
But at the same time, my thoughts have been so deep, sometimes profound - at least for me it is, very personal and real all at once that I don't even know how to take on any one single topic. Any time in life when I've made major changes I do a lot of reflecting and learning through metaphors. Here's a few of them.
For example: like coming to this earth for a body and life experiences (me moving away from my family).
We have no recollection of our former life. (I can see one benefit of no recollection...no homesickness and missing our loved ones there. Also, I'm wishing I didn't have a memory of all the things I miss about home.

Okay, so I live between two nice African-american families, I'm one of two white women on my block. My son was the only caucasian boy in his class. I've always wondered what it felt like for African-americans, especially in places like my hometown to always stand out where they are...there were so few if any that I can remember. (sorry, maybe this is such a taboo topic I really don't know...but its in my head and this is my blog, and yadah yadah)
Last Wednesday I found out for myself. Every mom from Jabrens class at the kindergarten graduation knew who I was and remembered me and said hello excitedly saying "Hi, how are you?" like they knew me.
My confused face would render the next comment... "You're Jabrens mom, remember me."
Now most of my life I've always been the one reminding people of how I know them and that we do know each other. Then I wait for the "aha" moment when they get it. Never, really almost, never does this happen the other way around. And these moms are the nicest, most genuine, and happy people. They radiate and are so warm. I love it.
Well thats a glimpse of what it feels like to be a minority...no matter what the minority is. Everyone notices you and knows you. I didn't realize that I was the minority that for them they could so easily spot out in a crowd. I like seeing how the "other shoe" fits.
Another thought is how much one appreciates what they have when they're away from it.
Familiarity and family...miss it. And yet, experiences totally new things is so rejuvinating. We have a really fun pot luck group and all these LDS girls, from here, are talking in foreign language. At least for me it might as well be. They were talking about food and restaurants using terminology and food reference I've never heard of.

At the same time. I'm learning to cook new things and try flavors in cooking I never would have come to on my own. Love the flavors used in southern cooking. Creole seasoning, deep fat frying, I can't even think of how many times I've had a pecan something-bread, pie, on top of stuff. Then there's these crawfish boils. Haven't been to one yet, only invited, but couldn't go. Its a southern tradition. Everyone knows about them, I guess. They boil huge batches of crawfish with a lot of southern seasonings, then you eat them. There's a lot more to it, I think, but its tradition. Its fun to know there's been these traditions going on for years and years and I've never even heard of them. I love learning new cultural ways. I'm loving the new dishes and spices I'm getting comfortable with making.
Then there's the people in my life. I've made really good friends with people I can't imagine not knowing.
This is a tanget, maybe, but when I was a freshman in highs school my parents took in a 16 year boy from the Republic of Georgia as an exchange student.
Dave Uznadze was just like my brother and sometimes I would just try to wrap my mind around the idea that I would have no clue about him, his life, his family, his culture, if he hadn't come to our home. He had spent 16 years growing up half way around the world, at the same time as me. I know, duh. But, I liked that I had the privilege of being a personal part of his life-his sister, really.
So thats one of my other deep thoughts: how could I live my whole life and not know so many people from all walks of life? Wouldn't I love to experience all that life and people have to offer? Yes, I wanted this.
With all the challenges of emotionally readjusting to a new neighborhood, a house that doesn't feel like home, like home did in our little house in Nampa; not having family close: we've been blessed with wonderful friends that are becoming our new family, we're making friends with neighbors that I couldn't imagine that the Lord didn't play part in our friendship.
Everything has a reason, a season, and is a blessing to experience.
Sometimes I wonder why I was so willing to walk into all these challenges and new life changing experiences away from what I know and is comfortable. There are moments when I think "Oh, my goodness, I was so niave and so innocent to happily want to try this. WHAT WA I THINKING!"
Last week at book club I had a window into why?
Its a post all on its own. Read Deep Thoughts to come.