My life as a nursing student

“How’s nursing school going?”  It’s the number one question I am asked.  Anywhere I go, anyone who knows me…this is the first question.  And that’s fine.  It’s what fills in my days and nights so it’s an appropriate question.  And mostly, I like to talk about my journey.

But how do I adequately respond to this question in a 2-minute span of attention? 

This semester has been heavenly.  In spite of the extreme senior-itis and “I don’t want to go back” feeling that came before the semester started.  There are still homework assignments and exams, but they just don’t feel as heavy as the last year and a half. 

So here’s how it’s going.  For my community health class, we are working with a food bank to find ways to serve the people’s needs who go there.  We spend time there and have assisted them.  The people who serve in these banks are so good-hearted.  I want more of their kind of heart. I have spoken with those who were receiving food.  Their challenges are real.  Their desire to hold on to their integrity and dignity was real. I relate to that. They wanted to be understood. They talk of how hard it is that they need the help of others to put food on their table.  And how they have healthcare needs but don’t have a way to pay for it.  Those were the ones who spoke to me.  There were others who put their heads down, didn’t engage and wanted to move on.  I get that too.  Here’s how nursing school is real.  It touches on the very heartstrings of my life.

One week  I was reading in-depth articles on intimate partner violence (heavy stuff) and we're learning how to use technique’s to help a patient dealing with it without jeopardizing their safety.  We have simulation labs where we practice and develop our skills working with actors in a hospital or clinic room.  In one simulation, I had to work with a controlling, agitated “husband” to get him out of the room.  To do that I had to use de-escalation techniques, get his buy-in to do what I needed, listen to him and validate him all while keeping myself safe. After the scenario, our teachers explained how real this scenario is in the world and on a regular basis.  Really?  What am I in for? So that’s difficult stuff. 

While studying the stuff on intimate partner violence, I was also doing prep work for a vulnerable populations class.  It has a lot to do with death and those who are vulnerable due to their compromised health.  As I read and listened to lectures, the teacher spent time discussing what a “good death” is.  I flash through her checklist and power points.  I asked myself “Is my dad going to have a “good death”? How do we help him achieve this?  How do we as his family left behind not have a “complicated bereavement”?”  And I learn there are empowering approaches to accomplish a good death.  Here’s the thing.  My dad is dying.  He came close to passing away this summer.  Blood transfusions keep him alive  My professor gave an example in a lecture about the complications of supporting an elderly couple as they decide when and what death is going to be for them. The husband is receiving blood transfusions daily to stay alive because he has Polycythemia Vera, a blood cancer.  And he’s tired.  He wants to go.  But his wife wants to do everything in her power to keep him here.  They don’t agree.  And she’s not ready. I could cry.  

My dad has Polycythemia Vera.  He receives transfusions to stay alive.  He doesn’t like spending a day every week in the hospital or taking days to adjust to the new blood.  He may not be going everyday like the teachers' example, but he can’t go more than 7 days without one.  And his time is closer than I want.  And the teachers' analogies feel too close to home…

Being in nursing school is emotional.  Almost bi-polar.  Not only is the workload significant, it regularly brings me through trenches of the emotional aspects of life.  It has its lows and its highs.

And there's this: for four weeks straight - every single week I have experienced admiration, awe, and amazement, even chills during lectures that I get to do this degree and profession.  How did it take me so long to realize that nursing is the path for me?  In a Power, Policy and Voice class we’ve had guest lecturers share their education, knowledge and work with a passion for helping the poor and underserved.    They share how they accomplish change within our communities, state, and national government.  They teach us principles that empower me to know my own voice, create my personal mission statement,  then use my voice and education to make a difference, give back, and improve the world around me through my healthcare background.  This isn’t new information to me.  I was raised with this ideology of serving, giving and making the world a better place.  But I’m learning how to do it on a scale I couldn’t have before.  

(The picture below is worth pondering for a moment...How do we advance health equity?)

All my education recently has been learning to care for others, regardless of their cultural background, religious background, sexual preferences, financial circumstances, education, political persuasion, criminal history and more.  In fact, I have learned that my awareness of who others are, respecting this, I will be far more capable of meeting their needs.  Nursing classes could be good for everyone.

School is awesome, amazing, incredible, and heavy emotionally.  So our parent goals are focused on making family life function, spending time with our kids, encouraging their growth and development spiritually, physically, socially and educationally.  We work to keep them safe, housekeeping is always needed, plasma draws done twice weekly to make the paycheck stretch, cooking meals at home so the budget stretches (which means more cleaning), teaching our boys to manage the house with us. 

At the end of every week, we are pleased with ourselves for making it all happen for 7 more days.  We are happy for the life we have, that we get to live it.  That we get to make something of ourselves.  I count my blessings and celebrate the good relationships that are good because we care about each other and so easily ask “how are you doing?”.  When people say “how’s school going” and they listen for a minute or two. These people are my tribe.